How the Pirate Lost His Right Eye

Posted: March 17, 2014 in Uncategorized
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ImageAs with most cliches about pirates, I have chosen to give this pirate a patch. I always wondered how pirates lost their eyes and why. Then there is the parrot that sits upon the shoulder of the pirate as his “mate”. I remember when I was young I would dress up as a pirate for Halloween. My dad won’t let me use a real parrot so I had to train a crow to sit on my shoulder. Crows are very smart and easy to train if you use gloves, mace and pliers.

My crow’s name was Henry. I named him after Henry Winkler who played Fonzie on the 70’s sitcom Happy Days. I was going to name him Fonzie, but my brother named his penis, Fonzie. Anyhow, I had this crow that could play dead and do other tricks. He is the only crow I knew that could shuffle a deck of cards and still eat a walnut.

He died when I was 17. I came home one day and found him stabbed in the heart. Poor fella. Juggling knives was not his strong suit. We buried him in the backyard right next to my aunt Marge. Sometimes at night I think I him crowing outside my window. But when I look out there, it’s usually my dad burying another dead pet or family member.



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