Old Lady’s Quest for Gold

Posted: March 19, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,


Gosh, I remember waking up in the morning to the smell of pancakes cooking in the kitchen, birds chirping outside and a bobcat bulldozer digging a new grave. We lived next to a graveyard when I was 8 so that is why I heard the dirt being moved and people crying on a daily basis. Witnessing that at such a young age made me think of my own mortality and why more people weren’t cremated. I mean it is only $586 to be cremated and you get a free urn. A funeral cost quite a bit.

I remember one time on a Sunday afternoon when Mike Ferguson and I climbed a tree in the graveyard and watched a funeral. Everyone was crying except for an old lady in a wheelchair. She was actually smiling. It was bizarre. We thought she may have dementia. But after everyone left and she was sitting there alone, she got up and dug up the grave. She opened the coffin with an old screwdriver.  Then she took out a pair of pliers and pulled all the gold teeth from the body, who it turned out to be a washed up rapper from Detroit. That sneaky old lady. Years later I saw this old lady’s picture  in the newspaper. It was an article about how she opened a business that  would take care of your pet rock when you went out of town. She also opened a Pet Rock Rescue for displaced, lost, or unwanted pet rocks.


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