America is goin’ Gluten Free

Posted: April 5, 2014 in Uncategorized
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It seems like everyone in America is either gluten-free or a germaphobe. I am not sure which is worse or better. My Uncle Andy is both. He could eat anything years ago which explains why he is 324 pounds and stands 5′ 9″. But today he cannot eat gluten because Dr. Oz says it will kill him. He also is a constant hand-washer because well Dr. Oz says there are germs everywhere especially in gluten. To top all that off my Uncle Andy has one of those lazy eyes and has one testicle. So whenever you talk to him when he is naked you don’t know which eye to look in so I just stare at his one nut.

 We had a dog named George who had an ascended testicle. Kind of crazy. The operation to descend it was like $3290 so my dad just had him neutered and we called the dog, Georgette after that. That dog was a great dog until he ate some lady’s baby. We had to give him away after that. It was sad because when we did go visit her, it was like he barely remembered us. Don’t get me wrong, her new family was very nice and she was happy.

 

 

 

 

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