Bitch-Slapped

Posted: April 26, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

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I have never been much of a fighter in the physical sense. I had a cousin who was into all the ninja stuff when he was young. He took karate classes and even had a few of those throwing stars which are more dangerous than lawn darts. My parents bought us lawn darts back in the day. My parents only rule was that we played with them outside. I remember one time I threw a lawn dart so high that I literally forgot I threw it in the air. It came down and landed right in my foot. The doctor said, if it came down three inches either way it would have pierced my skull. That would have sucked going around life with a lawn dart in your skull.

I am not a big fan of going to the doctor. They always find something wrong with you. And what is with the turn and cough as the doctor fondles your balls?  I am not sure why doctors do that. Heck, I can get my balls fondled for free by my bi curious friend, Toby or Father Pat.

Anyway, as I mentioned, I have never been a fighter or even been in a fight for that matter. I mean the punching, kicking, wrestling kind. I do like watching MMA and boxing though. It makes me feel tough and manly. My girlfriend gets upset when I watch it because I get pretty nasty and rude. I tell her I am going to train to be a cage fighter. Then I do a few push-ups and tell her to cook me some steak. She usually laughs and bitch-slaps me.

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