Sand Can Hurt, But Guns Can Kill

Posted: June 2, 2014 in Uncategorized
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My grandfather always said, ‘I would rather have sand in my shorts than in my retina’. I never knew what that meant until I was caught in a sandstorm outside of Ajo, AZ. It was terrible, the sand almost scratched my retina and cornea. Luckily, I was wearing googles and in a car, but just the thought of it  made me  squint for like three minutes. Now I know what it is like when someone is burned severely or has limb removed.  I have an uncle that had no thumbs. It was very strange to look at him because of the empty spaces and that he cn only count to eight. . He always joked that he lost them in a bet. But the truth is that he was born without thumbs or his pinky toes. Rumor has it that it was a birth defect because my grandmother drank and did drugs when she was pregnant with him. The strangest part is that his twin brother was born with four thumbs and pinky toes, but just one nut sack. They never found the other nut sack because my thumbless uncle has the proper amount of two.

My thumbless uncle lives a normal life without thumbs unless he is hitch-hiking. People think he is just waving. And he has a hard time working a Pez dispenser. Other than that he does pretty good. It makes you appreciate what you do have. I am grateful I am currently somewhat healthy and sane. I do worry about getting some terrible diseases because i am not a big hand washer and I once had sex with a rhesus monkey.  Man the crazy things you do in college.

Anyway, I feel good and I try to help the less fortunate out when I can. The other day a guy at Safeway was fifty cents short for his groceries. So I emptied out one of those save the Cerebral Palsy donation kid jars out and handed him the fifity cents he was so grateful. It made me feel good to. So that is a win-win situation. I guess that is what I am trying to say. Go out and help someone. And if you cannot bare the thought of helping someone just pretend and tell people you did. I have found that no one ever checks out your story.


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