Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

thermodogOSHA, the government agency in charge of many of the United States’ health and humanitarian regulatory regulations has been assigned to take back the control of our nation’s thermostats in both public and private work spaces. The need for such a drastic measure has been caused by the rise in thermostat temperature disputes among employees as well America’s declining GNP in recent years. This decline is due to the fact that an average office worker must maintain a body degree of 98.6 with an air current of 78.7 degrees in a constant flow.

OSHA inspectors have found large temperature discrepancies within many office spaces ranging from 55 degrees Fahrenheit to as warm as 92 degrees. Studies show that such a variance in temperature will affect a worker’s circulatory, digestive, endocrine, immune and respiratory systems causing a slowdown in productivity as well as an increase in absentee rates.

Thus maintaining a national set temperature of 78.7 degrees Fahrenheit throughout the nation’s office buildings and workspaces will eliminate many of the disruptions a diverse climate setting can cause.

Thanks to advances in workplace building construction and new sensor climate app technologies, the US Government & OSHA can control a set office temperature from one central control center in Langley, VA. This Uni-Thermo-Temp-Meter will be up and running by the end of 2020 with all offices being required to participate in this system by 2022. Violators and those who bring a fan or mittens to their place of employment will be met with stiff fines and a wedgie.

aman

Today there seems to be a lot of talk about transgender, transvestites and the LGBT League of America. I believe in all of it as in we are who we are. Born that way. This way. It is society that has the labels and from the day we are born kicking and screaming, we are told to act and be a certain way to conform to the culture we represent.

And then we are told to just be ourselves. However, the ‘ourselves’ that THEY speak of is the the ‘ourselves’ that fit the mold of a girl or boy in our genre. It continues til we are close to death. Then we sit there and regret who were weren’t-ourselves.

I guess our soul wakes us up for that clear moment to let us know we fucked up. But usually it’s too late. We are gone to where ever you believe your soul, energy, bones or personality go after death. We are talked about a bit and poof….usually forgotten.

Ok, I am not saying this to be morbid or depressing. Just the opposite. My intent for this writing is to be YOU today. Yes the you that has been repressed from the second grade when you noticed that you have your own voice. But you as the  98% of second graders around you choose not to listen. You choose the thoughts of the masses. (Or maybe you didn’t).

Either way, you are you today and your gut knows the way. Be it your are a guy that likes guys or a girl that likes girls or both. Or you want to be an actor and are currently a financial adviser. You know you and be you cuz you are really awesome. None like you. Or me or that guy or girl. Its all about love and giving of that energy.

Not trying to get all tree hugger on ya. Just a thought.

Posted: June 24, 2017 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

eatphil

Many people see cannibalism as  taboo or a bad thing. Which I find kind of ironic because if it weren’t for the cannibals in the Donner party who were responsible for discovering Nebraska or one of the far states in the Midwest, many of our east coast cities would be over-populated. This could lead to disease and higher crime rates. So eating other people is not so bad when put into that kind of context. I had an uncle who ate one of his wives. She was a big lady and it was a long winter so he survived. My point with all this is that though I have not ever eaten a full person, I do not judge those who may have over done it. People get hungry and if you are poor, without means or you hate them, you should be able to fend for yourself.

 

firstbody

Many view humor, comedy and mindfulness as just fun, little, cute things that can be had at leisure, but has no real bearing on one’s life. Because life is to be serious and though a court jester is funny and makes one laugh, he cannot be taken seriously. He has no effect on the world of life or business. This could not be further from the truth. Ironically, comedians and those with a keen sense of humor have higher IQs and EQs. Also, they succeed in many areas of live.

Studies show, along with my own, have shown that mindfulness (truly being in the now basically) and humor have almost exact matching health and life benefits. Below you will find a few Health Benefits of Humor & Mindfulness. Consider this a starter kit of sorts. And please know I do not want to insult all of you who have come to this conclusion years ago. Enjoy and thanks.

1. Lowers Anxiety 2. Lowers Heart Rate & Blood Pressure 3. Increases Immune Functioning 4. Aids in fighting diseases such as cancer & heart Disease 5. Higher Brain Functioning 6. Improves Mood & One’s Zest for Life 7. Live Longer

allky

The beauty about the use of humor is that it is so applicable for many situations. Studies show that the use of appropriate humor can alleviate stress, reduce pain, lower blood pressure and a plethora of other benefits.

I remember how my dad used humor to teach us lessons in life. If my brother and I did something wrong which was quite often. My dad would get his Grungy the Clown out fit on and make us balloon animals that he would then pop right before our eyes.  After  that he would beat us with plastic horn. He thought it was funny until my brother was diagnosed with scoliosis and had to be put down.

So please use humor with caution.

AAmtg copy

Humor can be a very powerful tool when used at the opportune time in the correct circumstance and tone.Many view being funny as a free for all that can be used at anytime at anyone’s expense. I find that ‘being funny’ and ‘using humor’ can be the same and/or be very different. Again, it is the question of timing and your audience. Both are fickle creatures.And both must be taken into consideration when exercising your funny bones and creative muscles.

Timing does take experience as well as an innate ability to ‘read’ the room or person. And some take a while to fully comprehend this. This timing thing. However, it is my belief that it can be taught and honed like any other skill. I have seen it many times in the Improv Comedy Workshops, I teach. Ironically, some students with a flair for humor do not progress as quickly as those that may not posses killer timing. But they listen and set the other ‘player ‘ up which by the way makes him or her look brilliant.

That’s what comedy is . Killer timing and teamwork. Setting your teammate up for the slam dunk..

 

dingo

I have had a few mentors and inspirational people in my life. One of them was my dad, who was a photojournalist and film professor at ASU.  And the other was a 265 pound, bearded , gay man from LA named Louis Anthony Russo. Louis was my first and only Improv Comedy instructor. He was amazing and had a knack for pulling true talent out of an know it all, wanna be stand-up comedian like myself. He saw the rawness in me as did my father when he wasn’t throwing his light meter throw a window. (Irish temper).

These two men taught me a lot in many ways which most was forgotten until I began to teach people their lessons and wisdom. Funny how that happens,

One thing that they both encouraged me to do was to know what was happened in   history, biology, all the other sciences, planets. the universe, cooking and the list goes on. And if all that failed to penetrate  my brain, they said just to skim what was happening in the world. Meaning know  what is trending and stay tuned to POP CULTURE. It will be the fodder of many punchlines if the time is right.

And so true. As a comedic entertainer , instructor and offbeat cartoonist, I have used pop culture to may advantage to connect to my audience as well as twist the set-up and cliches. They are so valuable and when done right genius.

And that is the key. Using the cliche and or pop culture tidbit serves as the set-up or as I have said in the past , ‘to get them on the bus’ then hit the accelerator.

So please know whatz up…it will save you in times of funny struggle and it will show how hip you are.