Posts Tagged ‘business’

thermodogOSHA, the government agency in charge of many of the United States’ health and humanitarian regulatory regulations has been assigned to take back the control of our nation’s thermostats in both public and private work spaces. The need for such a drastic measure has been caused by the rise in thermostat temperature disputes among employees as well America’s declining GNP in recent years. This decline is due to the fact that an average office worker must maintain a body degree of 98.6 with an air current of 78.7 degrees in a constant flow.

OSHA inspectors have found large temperature discrepancies within many office spaces ranging from 55 degrees Fahrenheit to as warm as 92 degrees. Studies show that such a variance in temperature will affect a worker’s circulatory, digestive, endocrine, immune and respiratory systems causing a slowdown in productivity as well as an increase in absentee rates.

Thus maintaining a national set temperature of 78.7 degrees Fahrenheit throughout the nation’s office buildings and workspaces will eliminate many of the disruptions a diverse climate setting can cause.

Thanks to advances in workplace building construction and new sensor climate app technologies, the US Government & OSHA can control a set office temperature from one central control center in Langley, VA. This Uni-Thermo-Temp-Meter will be up and running by the end of 2020 with all offices being required to participate in this system by 2022. Violators and those who bring a fan or mittens to their place of employment will be met with stiff fines and a wedgie.

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Posted: June 24, 2017 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

eatphil

Many people see cannibalism as  taboo or a bad thing. Which I find kind of ironic because if it weren’t for the cannibals in the Donner party who were responsible for discovering Nebraska or one of the far states in the Midwest, many of our east coast cities would be over-populated. This could lead to disease and higher crime rates. So eating other people is not so bad when put into that kind of context. I had an uncle who ate one of his wives. She was a big lady and it was a long winter so he survived. My point with all this is that though I have not ever eaten a full person, I do not judge those who may have over done it. People get hungry and if you are poor, without means or you hate them, you should be able to fend for yourself.

 

firstbody

Many view humor, comedy and mindfulness as just fun, little, cute things that can be had at leisure, but has no real bearing on one’s life. Because life is to be serious and though a court jester is funny and makes one laugh, he cannot be taken seriously. He has no effect on the world of life or business. This could not be further from the truth. Ironically, comedians and those with a keen sense of humor have higher IQs and EQs. Also, they succeed in many areas of live.

Studies show, along with my own, have shown that mindfulness (truly being in the now basically) and humor have almost exact matching health and life benefits. Below you will find a few Health Benefits of Humor & Mindfulness. Consider this a starter kit of sorts. And please know I do not want to insult all of you who have come to this conclusion years ago. Enjoy and thanks.

1. Lowers Anxiety 2. Lowers Heart Rate & Blood Pressure 3. Increases Immune Functioning 4. Aids in fighting diseases such as cancer & heart Disease 5. Higher Brain Functioning 6. Improves Mood & One’s Zest for Life 7. Live Longer

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Funny when I was 8 years old I remember when we buried my Aunt Louise she kept yelling, “My gosh, this dirt does taste like chicken.” I didn’t understand what that meant then or why we buried her before she actually died. However, many years later I discovered that many meats, fish, snake-meat and even tofu can taste like chicken at times. I also found out that Aunt Louise was a real bitch and should have been buried at birth, but my dad says they didn’t allow it at that time. Damn you Roe vs. Wade.

Strangely enough, that was the only semi-funeral I ever attended until I got a job on a crab fishing boat in Alaska for a Summer when I was 19. Guys on those boats die a lot. It is crazy. It is not only dangerous, but the median IQ for workers is 83 so there leaves more room for error.

I never have had my IQ measured, but I am told I have a high EQ which I have come to find out it is what they tell dumb people. I don’t feel dumb. Though I do a lot of dumb things like lock my car keys in the car quite a bit; say inappropriate things at the wrong time and once I told a friend I would feed his cats while he was out of town for two weeks which I totally spaced. Luckily, two of the cats were small so the big cat ate well.

That guy did forgive me which was cool of him. I felt bad for awhile. How could I be so forgetful or irresponsible? Well, come to find out my neurons were not firing correctly and I was eating too much gluten. I am fine now and watch my gluten intake and take any pills the doctor gives me. Some of these pills make me bloat, have diarrhea and want to kill my landlord which I have only done once.